The Dark Dojo: The Martial Artist
by The Ageless Stranger
Summary: A parody of Stephen Kings epic series...Ranma style! Ranma Saotome the last martial artist chases the elusive man with the yellow bandanna across the desert. The first book in Ranma's quest for the legendary Dark Dojo, standing at the nexus of existence.
1. and the martial artist followed him

The Dark Dojo A Ranma 1/2 /Dark Tower Parody 

Here it is a dark tower/ Ranma parody! While I love both these series for obvious reasons I took some liberties and have to change the story around. Plus this parody goes off of the expanded Gunslinger a bit...SPOLIER... Marten and Walter both being the persona of Flagg, etc. Also this is far more of a Ranma parody then it is DT so a lot of Ranma-ness still remains (Junsenkyo type curse,etc.)

Ranma is copyrighted to Rumiko Takahashi and Dark Tower to Steven King respectively. I don't stand to make a profit on these piece of garbage

The man with the yellow bandanna fled across the desert and the martial artist followed him. The desert was the apotheosis of all deserts...well no not really, it was actually quite small. The martial artist had only spent the last ten years in this desert because the man with the yellow bandanna, for a sorcerer of infinite wisdom had a really bad sense of direction. The martial artist's instincts of battle and the hunt were great as he followed his tracks. But some would be going in the exact opposite direction he came from, some of them not even footprints but hoof prints...what vile powers of sorcery he must have! Or perhaps it was similar to the martial artist's own curse...the loss of his manhood but it gave him the ability to con out a free popkin or two with the feminine wiles the martial artist used to his advantage at some points.

"What I'd kill for Popkin...Thankee Sai O' lord or whatever deity rules this place...I'm starving!" The martial artist grudgingly exclaimed as he walked the vast unforgiving expanse of the desert. He walked slow and steady not hurrying. Slung at his waist were two waterbags crisscrossed against his muscular body. Hi shirt was red in the style of a long forgotten country, covered in sweat and grime. His black loose fitting pants were starting to get worn and torn from the blinding sandstorms. He wore an overcoat with the no-color of rain and dust and a wide-brimmed hat on the top of his jet black hair with a pigtail that went to the length of his shoulders. No weapons this one bore, unlike a man in a similar story, the techniques the Order of the Anything Goes Martial Arts that had protected his homeland were enough. Who needed a pair of revolvers when the icy cold blast of Hiru Shoten Ha would send any man spiraling in the way the girl at the window used to when they would argue.

The martial artist smiled at the memory of his lost love, uncute and as tomboyish as she was she was his...and now she was dead, gone all of them. Attempting to push the memory out of his mind he trudged on through the vast expanse. Besides what would he need weapons for? What would they be some old wild-west style revolvers made from Excalibur or something? The martial artist laughed at the thought as he trudged along. With him was a mule he bought several towns back and the thing was definitely looking like it was on its last legs.

"Guess I hafta settle down an' make camp. I've been chasing this idiot for what, ten years?

The desert was devoid of all life expect for the green skunky smelling devil grass that grew in patches every now and then. The dwellers of the desert said that spirit of "Mary Jane" or whatever that was lived inside it and the smoke would make one speak about only the most pointless (but strangely funny) topics that came to mind and would make you crave a food the ancients called "Doritos." He smirked thinking of the old ones. The world had moved on since then. He burned the grass of course, (after rolling some "cigarettes" out of them for once his tobacco ran out.) He found the remains of the man with the yellow bandanna's campfire where strange burned remains of ideographs were left. He did not know what they meant perhaps a message spelt out to him in the way of mysterious lore lost to most...or maybe it said "Eat at Nekohanten's" He didn't care he needed rest and maybe one of the "cigarettes" he recently rolled.

* * *

At last after three days he came upon a dwelling. The last dwellings he had been to were full of madmen and perverts. The martial artist preferred the company of the madmen over the perverts especially when that crazy guy in the blue gi and Hakama calling himself "Blue Thunder" or something of the like tried to grope him after he found out what happened when the martial artist was doused with cold water. He then gave him his authograph and bade him to give it to Amaterasu. The martial artist took it gravely, if he saw her he would give it up...but which was a moot point because he had burned it wishing he had burned that pervert as well in the devil grass fire. He saw a crop of badly tended corn and a surprisingly young man in a blue outfit with dark brown hair wielding a broom was tending to it. He acknowledged the martial artist and went back to his crop. The martial artist walked over to the crop, pulled down his drawstring pants a bit and let loose the liquid that was filling in his bladder. 

"Life for your crop." He exclaimed smirking with an egotistical smile. The man walked over with his broom and with the blunt end quickly struck the martial artist in a vital part of his anatomy. The martial artist let out a yelp of pain after being smashed there and fell to his knees groaning in pain.

"Lifelessness for your own." The young man said. The martial artist flared up in anger about to pounce on him until he calmed himself down. The young man relaxed a bit and let out a small bow.

"I am Shinnosuke, traveler. What are you doing in these parts except leaking your lizard on other people's hard worked crops. The martial artist looked at he corn. It seemed like one of the abominations the girl at the window used to cook used to cook for him...just slightly more appetizing. The martial artist noticed the very large raven perched at the hut of his roof.

"That is Zol-chan" He said. The bird looked at the martial artist questioningly.

"Screw you and the horse you rode on in!" It exclaimed. The martial artist ignored the insult but could feel the large sweat drop pouring off his head.  
"You teach him that?" The martial artist asked. Shinnosuke looked up at him with a puzzled look.

"Huh? Who? Who are you?" He said scratching his head. The martial artist reconsidered in his mind a moment. Maybe He is one of the madmen He thought to himself.

"I just came here. I am looking for a place to crash for the night." The martial artist exclaimed. Shinnosuke smiled.

"Of course you can stay. Come in we will eat. That's Zol-chan by the way." He said pointing to the gigantic bird. The martial artist sighed.

"I know."

"How do you know each other?"

"Who could miss a gigantic insulting bird." The martial artist said. Shinnosuke looked puzzled and the bird repeated its insult. The martial artist controlled his fist. He still had to learn control just like what master Happosai had taught him years ago...wait a minute. He never really did remember Happosai teaching him and Mousse anything but stealing panties even though Happosai had been training martial artists for years apparently. It no longer mattered he was the last and the world had moved on since then. Mousse was gone. The martial artist liked this young man this Shinnosuke but he seemed more forgetful and dumber that and bag of bricks, much like the sense of direction of the man with the yellow bandanna this man seemd to cursed not that the female form of the martial artist was any different. Maybe they were all freaks. Shinnosuke lead him inside the small hut and they sat facing each other.

"So why's the bird so big?" The martial artist popped the question as Shinnosuke offered him some water and began to cook some beans on the small primitive stove in his mud hut.

"My late grandfather and I had many animals that drank from the spring of life. Way beyond the mountains near a beach." Shinnosuke explained as he took the beans off the fire and put some on the martial artists plate.

"Any other animals?" The martial artist asked. Shinnosuke shrugged.

"Just a couple of lobsters but we lost them up near that beach. I doubt they will give you any trouble like biting your fingers off or something. That beach was hundreds of miles away." Shinnosuke said exchanging laughs wit the martial artist. They made small talk for a bit and Shinnosuke finally popped the question forming in his mind.

"You...you're a martial artist aren't you?" Shinnosuke asked and the martial artist showed the slightest bit of surprise in his facial expression.

"Yes."

"After the other one?" A nod came from the martial artists head. Shinnosuke stared at him deeply as if trying to look into the mind of the martial artist.

"From the looks at him he seemed like a sorcerer. Dressed in that black cassock and that funny yellow bandanna he was strange looking, spent the night here like you...I think." Shinnosuke said going through his extremely limited memory. They sat in silence for the longest time the cold desert wind whirling outside rattled the small hut to its foundations. Finally the silence was broken.

"How long since he was here?" The martial artist asked.

"Since who was here?' Shinnosuke countered scratching his head, confused. The martial artist looked more and more irritated the veins on his head about to explode.

"The man with the yellow bandanna..."

"Who?"

"You just said...never mind..." The martial artist tried to explain cutting himself off with what he knew would be useless until this dweller's memory came back. Maybe he was another one of the madmen. He finally had some of the first information of his prey in months. Not that it would help with the sorcerer's sense of direction. He was the last of the martial artists yet there would be one more legacy for him, where there had been many there was now one, the world had moved on since then and apparently so had the man with they yellow bandanna's sense of direction. But he had to endure somewhere across the desert stood his prey and beyond the desert beyond whatever came next and beyond that stood the Dojo, which he had to find, he was sworn. The martial artist fidgeted with his pigtail and asked another question.

"Do you know of a town named Nerima?" The martial artist asked describing the small desert town he was three weeks out of. Three weeks since the incident. His father had often told him that he brought trouble with him, that is whenever his father wasn't stealing food or going on and on about a martial artists duty. The world had moved on since then and so did all of his food in his childhood, right into his father's stomach. Shinnosuke nodded explaining that when he was younger a coach track ran through there and he went perhaps every several months there for some more supplies.

"Do you wish to hear what happened there?" The martial artist asked a lump forming into his throat like the endless lumps he used to have on his head after he had gotten in a fight with the girl he had first fallen in love in all those years ago. He snapped back to the present and saw Shinnosuke nod slightly. "Might as well. It's either that or clean up Zol-chan's droppings. Trust me cleaning up the shit of a gigantic bird isn't the fun it seems." Shinnosuke said chuckling. The martial artist leaned forward and began to tell his story about what happened at the township of Nerima and about the trap the man with the yellow bandanna set up for him there.

Well that's chappie #1. This one will be far shorter than the coming ones, I just had to see if I had the ability to even WRITE after so many years of absence, lol. I'll try to update bi-weekly, work and school providing. For those who are reading this thanks for your support and long days and pleasant nights to you.


	2. Okonomiyaki and Devil Weed

The Dark Dojo: The Martial Artist

Chapter two: Okonomiyaki and Blood Money

Yay! Chapter 2! Thanks for the reviews so far and thanks for the support. Especially, since I have taken a LOT of liberties to make Dark Tower fit with Ranma which is VERY hard mind you. Especially trying to fit in Jusenkyo into all this so it will only be talked about a little for comic relief, for the fact at its core this is a Ranma fanfic and not a Dark Tower one, (although a fanfic with DT characters in Ranma's situation may sound intresting…maybe in the future.) I think I may have bitten off more thank I can chew. Oh and before you go with the flames after your read this chapter I am a staunch Ranma x Akane fan. Maybe I do have a slight Ukyo x Ranma urges but they are very small. For those of you who have guessed how Akane fits into this story then you'll understand. Oh and yes as one reviewer pointed out I may be jumping ahead into the story a bit but I'll stick mostly to Vol. 1 for now. I intend to do the whole Dark Tower series, In different fanfic stories so this one will only be Dark Tower I for now. So for you Eddie and Susannah fans you'll have to be patient until I write the next fanfic, fortunately the Gunslinger was rather short compared to the other books and this fanfic as such will be shorter than the other Dark Dojo fanfics. My mind is dusty and I know the character of Susan hadn't been introduced that early in the story but please forgive me the last time I read the Gunslinger was three years ago I think. Whenever the expanded Gunslinger was released was when I read it the final time anyway. Back to Akane's role, those who know who Susan is in Dark Tower would also know she is the only person Roland TRULY fell in love with. He may have liked Allie a bit but not in the same way. Oh and yes I would have loved to make Akane, Susannah too but it would have been impossible in the long run. But don't you worry Susannah's character (Or characters to put it more bluntly) will fit VERY well. evil grin Oh and long days and pleasant nights two my first two reviewers, Thanks to your support I feel this story has passed its manhood test and won't be sent west after all.

* * *

The martial artist had been three weeks out Costtown where he picked up the mule and it was still fresh as he treaded the old coach road, which led to the small desert township of Nerima. The several weeks of travel in the desert made the martial artist look like a piece of shriveled beef jerky, his lips cracked from the sun, his clothes covered in dust and his face looked more whipped by the sand then a patron at a dominatrix show. The bottomless pit that was the martial artists stomach growled with anticipation as he finally saw a small town in the distance he could see a chewed sign with the simple words: NERIMA. 

"Finally…" The martial artist gasped wiping a large amount of sweat off his brow. Clicking to the mule they descended down the road and after a good twenty minutes walk they reached the entrance to Nerima. Along the way to the entrance the martial artist heard the lyrics to a song and age old ballad that had been lost to time: " YAPPAPPAA YAPPAPPAA II-SHAN-TEN hashagu koi wa ike no koi…" The martial artist smiled to himself, he remembered this song from his past, plus he always found it weird that one of the lyrics to the song contained his name. His true name, a name he hadn't been heard called in at least twelve years.

No matter, this was a place to stop for the night and it was starting to look mighty comfortable. He descended down to the entrance and walked its dirt road, his hand leading the mule to a stable close to the entrance. The town probably had no more than four or five streets running through it with small houses dotted this way and there. Arriving at the stables the martial artist signaled to a man shoveling hay with a pitchfork. Noticing an intruders arrival he met with the gunslinger.

"Hey there!" The martial artist cried out to the stable master.

"Hey yourself!" the martial artist resisted the urge to kick that smart ass man's smart ass balls straight into his stomach. He motioned to the mule.

"I have a mule here!" The martial artist said.

"Good for you." _"Man I hope someone kills this guy…" _the martial artist thought and threw him a gold coin. It rang across the stable turning in circles and stopping with a flat thump at the man's feet. The man picked the piece up, bit it and put it in his shirt pocket.

"Don't have change for gold." He said. The martial artist hid his emotions and waved it off not caring.

"Blood money." He muttered. The martial artist gave him a weird stare.

"Why do you always speak in riddles?" He asked. The man scratched his head and smirked at him with a bright smile…well as bright as gingivitis covered mouth with a bunch of gold fillings could be.

"I dunno. Can you tell me?" The martial artist tipped his hat low hiding the massive irritation on his face. Somehow he got the feeling he would be meeting a lot of assholes on his long path to the Dark Dojo…ah that's right concentration on his quest was most important. He was sworn, although there was plenty of other swearing going on in his head.

"_Wasn't expecting any change for gold from this shit hole of a town…Take that smart ass….you ain't got sh-" _The Martial thought to himself content with his thought of kicking six shades of shit into him, the martial artist didn't notice that he was standing in the middle of a game of marbles being enjoyed by three youths which suddenly gave such mean looking glares that it would sent Leona Helmsley crying with hurt feelings. Those glares did not phase him though, the massive beatings the girl at the window had given him when dared to insult her critically paralyzing food. He was desensitized to pain. He had endured a lot. Stepping out of the way his feet kicked up dust as he turned to face the kids.

"Hey dudes, pardon me….know where to get some grub? Two of the boys ignored him and the third looked up and gave him a neutral stare.

"Might get some okonomiyaki at Uuchan's." he said and went back to his game of marbles his friends giving him violent stares.

"_Man wherever I go people hate the hell out of me. I hope some dude just annihilates every god forsaken soul in this town…they're all dicks! I bet they are the religious nut type as well…nah maybe Im being too hard on them. No way is someone going to kill them all, its not like they're in some cult lead by some weird old woman or sumthin'."_ The martial artist thought to himself as he made his way down the street to the restaurant at Uuchan's…the same place where that piano was playing the old ballad he heard on the way into town.

* * *

Entering through the batwing doors he came upon a typical small town tavern. Dirt floor, the furniture looked old, definitely made with cheap old wood that had gotten dust blown and cracked with age. A haze of smoke filled the room as the townsfolk gathered around the piano where a feminine looking man with long black hair tied back into a ponytail was playing a piano, another one of those old tunes from days long gone by. The smell of tobacco was intoxicating in this place. The bar was no more than a plank with several supports on it, although in the kitchen the martial artist noticed a unique looking okonomiyaki grill. Sitting at the bar was a woman. She wore her hair long, with a white ribbon at the top and she wore a blue form fitting chef's outfit. On her forehead was a scar going across the length of her forehead. She powdered it heavily but it called out for attention more and more through this. The martial artist noted she was pretty in her youthful tomboyish way (Much like his first and only true love) and much of it still shone, but there was a desperation about her, a hungering. Heads swiveled and looked at the martial artist and the pair of knuckledusters hanging ay his hips, the whole room stared at him except for the feminine looking piano player that still kept on jamming. The martial artist walked to the plank that served as a bar. 

"You're an Okonomiayaki chef? Could I order a shrimp one and some warm sake. The martial artist asked.

"Sure thing, sugar." She replied with a smile but it seemed forced. Her magic hands went to the grill, frying the pancake like batter until it became crispy. The martial artist began to himself a smoke, a TOBACCO smoke mind you, the other ones he rolled usually before bed or at the Old One's traditional time of smoking at 4:20. He put a gold piece on the counter, like the stable master she explained her lack of change and he dismissed it once again.

"What is your name?" He asked. Her gaze met his and the longing in her groin began to flare up once again.

"Ukyo. But never mind that, sugar. You look like the desperate type like your chasing something." She said with that forced smile. The martial artist was about to reply when an older looking man approached him, his teeth were moss colored and he had an almost dead about him. He addressed him in the high speech, not the kind you little stoners are thinking of, the speech of his past his childhood and the people conncected with it: Happousai the old perverted trainer, his closest and smartest friend and fellow apprentice Mousse and….Akane. Well not so much her, she wasn't a noble like himself but still the memory remained. He found himself thinking of her a lot but once again he brought his mind up on the present. Happousai would have broken his face and made him go into the lower city for another panty raid as punishment. The martial artist shuddered at the memory and then realized that this old codger had addressed him in the high speech:

"Mayhaps I have a gold piece martial artist? One for a pretty?" He said again baring his disgusting moss covered teeth. Without thinking he produced a shining gold piece and handed it to the man. He grasped it greedily taking it in his hands and bringing to the table he was sitting on. People were now starting to pour out of the bar now, at first not even the piano player and even he began to slip out.

"You Jackass! Kontatsu, Get 'yer girly butt right back out here!" She screamed and faced the martial artist angrily.

"Thanks for getting rid of my customers jack ass. You and that bandanna guy make more men pour out of a room and spread more itching discomfort than the town whore!" She shouted at him venomously. The martial artist gazed up at her once again this time surprise on his face.

"Yellow bandanna? Was he wearing a black cassock like a priest?" Ukyo stared at him with daggers in his eyes.

"What the blue FUCK is a cassock? Never mind you jackass! Just get out of here and I hope your sense of direction is nowhere as bad as his because if you wander back in here I will cut a VERY special part of your anatomy off!" She screamed and turned. The martial artist grabbed her by the shoulder and she spun around angrily.

"Please…I must know…I…" He started and she splashed him in the face of the icy cold water from the sink where the dishes were being made. The cold splash of water hit him dead on in the face, and the moment it did Ukyo let out a gasp. Where once there was a tall, muscular handsome looking young man, there was now a short, curvy buxom redhead staring back from the martial artists clothes which now felt a little tight in the chest area.

"WATCHA DO THAT FOR?!" The martial artist screamed her face now as red as her hair was now. Ukyo looked in shock and suppressed a scream.

"What are you some kind of perverted freak?" Ukyo asked huffing. The martial artist lowered his head shamefully.

"Along my travels I encountered a land of cursed springs. Shortly after I was in a convent and all the sisters turned out to be vampires. Cold water changes me to this, hot water reverses it…speaking of which could I have some hot water?" He asked. She nodded slowly and began boiling a tea kettle on the stove while still looking at him in wonder. The martial artist let out a girlish sigh.

"So…he came here….The man with the yellow bandanna?" The martial artist asked her. She slowly nodded and handed him the kettle which the young redhead poured the steaming water on her head flinching a bit with the contact made from the water. Once again his familiar, muscular form came back.

"Perhaps he did…but why I should tell some sex-changing pervert like you…." She cut herself off when she saw the pleading look in his eyes.

"Please…." He said desperation in his voice. She sighed and felt that familiar animalistic urge again.

"Go-"she started and finished with describing an impossible act of masturbation. Finally she gave into his pleading eyes.

"You know my price…." She said. The martial artist slapped down two gold coins. He figured that was more than enough, for a country girl like her, hell she would be ecstatic. So when he saw her annoyed face he was taken aback to say the least.

"No…not money." She tried to say as calmly as she could. The martial artist looked as dumbfounded as ever. She looked at him shyly.

"You know…we should be intimate…" She said blushing a bit . The martial artist gave her another dumbfounded stare and she couldn't hold her anger in.

"I want you to stuff me like a thanksgiving turkey! You know the mattress mambo, the joining of bodies…you know..." She made her point by making a motion with her left index finger going into her right hand cupped like a circle. Finally the lightbulb turned on in a house where there was very few lights concerning that subject in the martial artists brain.

"Oh! Well…ummm….let's go upstairs then." He said looking at her. She covered the scar with her hand.

"Don't look at me like that!" She sobbed. _"They always look at me like that…"_ She thought sadly. The martial artist silently took her by the hand and lead the sobbing woman upstairs. His lovemaking that night was short but sweet and when it was done he rolled two cigarettes, one for himself and one for her and he lit both of them and handed one to her. She took it and blew smoke out, her face could be barely seen but it was one of worry. Now the questions would begin.

"He came here about a few weeks ago…he was dressed as you described him. He did something miraculous yet terrible, the man looked like a priest but his aura let off something like being the devil himself. The man who talked to you in that funny language, Nortaki is his name…he died, but only for the moment…" She started and the martial artist patiently listened as she told the story…

* * *

Ukyo had been having a slow day. Slow until the batwing doors were opened and several of her familiar customers came in carrying the body Nortaki, the devil grass eater. There were two things that grew out in the desert, devil weed which was prized by the ancient ones as a recreational drug and devil grass which gave you nightmares most hellish. Nortaki chose the latter and through most of his life here in Nerima he was the town joke, children would sick their dogs on him, perhaps the only person who even remotely cared for him was Ukyo and only because she had a big heart. 

"He collapsed in the street." Hiro one of her regulars said. They put two tables together and laid Nortaki out on them. Ukyo felt her heart sank and then she felt a sudden chill as she saw a horse drawn carriage enter the town as she looked out the window. The wheels of the carriage came to a halt and the driver stepped out. He may have been a preist or a monk, he wore a black cassock with the hood pulled up obscuring all his features except a yellow bandanna that was wrapped around his head which she could barely made out. The sound of boots came as he jumped down into the sand with a plop. He looked around at the town he was in in one direction and the vast expanse of the hardpan desert in the other. He clutched the top of his head with both his hands and let out a scream: "WHERE THE HECK AM I NOW?!" He bellowed for a moment and then began to collect himself.

Making his way toward the Okonomiyaki shop Ukyo felt her heart skip a beat as the man entered slowly looking around and seeing the deceased an evil smile formed on his face. He approached Ukyo and missed her completely going up the stairs.

"You! Where are you going?! The bar's here you moron!" She screamed at him. The man with the yellow bandanna gave a confused look and sat down at the bar.

"Apologies…I would like some sake…GOOD….sake…" He emphasized pushing his hood back a little showing his features a bit. He had short but messy, hair a pale complexion and a couple of goofy looking overly grown fangs protruding in his mouth. Not vampire fangs they looked to comical for him to be a vampire but he sure looked like the undead. The familiar need in her groin flared up again but she suppressed it. Slowly she reached down and poured him a bottle of sake and he paid for it with a gold piece never minding she didn't have change for such an amount. He put the glass between his hands as if to warm it and she went back to drawing beer from the tap and then returned to the newcomer.

"It's rather busy…" He said and then turned to the lifeless body of Nortaki.

"Wait till this evening…" She said.

"I noticed the deceased." He said giving out an evil smile which would have made satan himself dampen his pants.

"They are all jackasses!" She said with a sudden hatred, losing her cool which was unusual.

"He is dead, They are not it excites them." He replied beginning to sip his sake.

"All they did for him was make him the butt of all their jokes…their sadistic pleasures…" She said sadly and then shot him an apologetic look.

"Im sorry…you're a priest aren't you? This must disgust you." She heard him let out a small chuckle let out and he pulled his hood lower taking his features away once again.

"I'm no priest….and it doesn't." The man with the yellow bandanna said, no emotion showed on his face.

"Devil-Grass eater?" He questioned and she slowly nodded.

"What else did he have?" She said weakly. He pulled his hood back up a bit, his dark eyes meeting hers.

"You cared for him didn't you?" He said slyly. Ukyo let out a snort.

"Who? Nortaki? I think you better-"

"You cared for him and you hate these people. He saw outside hell's door and you felt sympathy for you have to…that scar is proof of it." The man in the yellow bandanna said, seeming like he snatched the thoughts straight out of her mind. Anger welled up in her matching also the lust that she felt for this strange man.

"Get the hell out of here…." She said in a cold tone of voice. He just looked back up at her smirking.

"Don't worry….don't worry…you know don't you." He said hypnotically as if putting her in a magical trance. Kontatsu looked at him with a strange looked and stopped playing the piano to turn and look at him as he approached the body of Nortaki. Rubbing his hands together he let out a mad howl. As if in a trance all the patrons started laughing manically as he leaped over the body once and then a second time, cackling loudly as he did so. Kontatsu began to laugh uncontrollably ands the man with the yellow bandanna cackled approvingly slapping him on the back. Kontatsu gave him a small feminine looking grin and began to cackle uncontrollably again as Ukyo began to giggle…she should have been appalled but some unseen force almost MADE her do it. Nortaki's body began to stir and black bile oozed from his mouth as he began to cough and stir to life. Ukyo fell back shivering and then bolted like a deer up the stairs she could hear the man with the yellow bandanna calling back at her:

"Rest easy now…I've given it to you…even that isn't reversible…but…it's so...damn…funny!!!" he cackled as she went into her room and bolted the door.

"_What the hell was that?" _She thought to herself wondering and then her heart stopped as he heard the sound of boots coming up the stairs. She heard a click as somehow the door unlocked itself as if under a spell. There stood the man in the yellow bandanna this time with a confused look on his face, his evil smile gone.

"Wait…this isn't the exit…" He said confused and saw the shivering figure. Well so much for his stylish exit.

"Ummm….where is the exit?" He questioned nervously. Ukyo had about enough, this man was some sort of enchanter and for all his evil wisdom he was also an idiot. She threw a bucket of water at him screaming and gave a shocked expression when nothing remained but his black robes and a deck of tarot cards spilling onto the floor. She thought she heard the squeal of a pig but it had to have been her imagination. She slammed the door and bolted it again. She didn't notice the small black pig pulling the black robe with its teeth down the stairs…and going to the wrong area once again.

Ukyo finished her story taking one final puff of the cigarette and then put it out in the ashtray near the bed.

* * *

"That's all?" The martial artist asked. She nodded. A sudden fear filled her. 

"You have to go, don't you? To find him…he'll kill you." She whispered. The martial artist said nothing.

"Don't go…stay for at least a few days…nobody comes here….nobody…" She sobbed and modestly covered her bare chest with the blankets.

"We'll see." The martial artist replied. She fell asleep later a bit more content then she had been in many years. The martial artist lay in the bed in the dark thinking to himself. "_I must go…I can only stay for a bit. The only woman I would have stayed forever for is gone…sweet Akane..." _ He thought and the guilt came up again and then subsided. Done is done and the dojo was his destination. He would sacrifice everything to get there even if it meant giving his soul to the devil on a silver platter. Somewhere in the nexus of everything the dojo stood and that was where he had to go….no matter what it took to get there.

* * *


End file.
